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May 31, 2023

Which version of you is sitting at the head of the table?
In this episode of The Darin Olien Show, I chat with Stef Ziev about how easy it is to create the life you want, but also how easy it is to create a life where we believe we have no choice. She explains how we often tell ourselves stories that are coming from a place of despair. Instead, we should be looking through a lense of new opportunity.
Stef also explains the importance of becoming conscious of who it is we are letting sit at the head table in our life. Without realizing it, we may be letting the perfectionist, pessimist, and fearful version of ourselves sit at this important spot. By becoming conscious of it, we can swap out which version of you is sitting at that front seat for one that wants the best for you.
Stef Ziev is a former TV executive turned certified life and executive coach and author. Since starting her coaching practice in 2007, Stef has worked with thousands of successful and driven professionals, executives, leaders, and organizations in the fields of entertainment, law, marketing, financial services, accounting, engineering, and talent delivery at companies including The New York Times, Google, American Express, Viacom, NBCUniversal, Pearle Vision, and many more. 
What we discuss:
06:48: What led Stef to write her book?
14:21: How easy is it to create a “no choice” universe?
18:15: Are you aware of the stories you’re telling yourself?
26:51: How can you build the skill to look at your life through a lense of new opportunity?
39:34: What is personal responsibility?
45:43: Are we living in a conscious or unconscious world?
50:58: Who’s sitting at the head of the table?
56:08: How can we cultivate permission to live the life we want for ourselves?
01:01:29: Where can you learn more about Stef?
Key Takeaways:
  • We have the personal responsibility to become conscious in this unconscious world. Too many of us are operating on auto-pilot and from a place of stress. And from this place of stress comes a bunch of stories that don’t make any sense. As we feed our brain with these thoughts, we unconsciously close out the world of opportunities for ourselves. 
  • We all have a certain version of us sitting at the head of our table. Sometimes it is our optimistic self and other times it is our pessimist self. In other cases, it can be our perfectionist self. While most of us don’t instinctively have the best suited version of ourselves at the head of the table, we can take a second to acknowledge which version we allowed to sit down at this important spot of the table. When this version of ourselves is holding us back, we need to make the conscious decision to replace this unsuited version of ourselves with the one who will get the job done.
  • Cultivating the life you want for yourself starts with taking personal responsibility for the universe you create for yourself. It starts with curating the right thoughts, asking yourself the right questions, and opening your mind to all the opportunities and choices you have available to you. When you don’t do this, that’s when you can fall intro the trap of creating your own universe of “no choice” where you settle for a life you don’t want.
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